Best Humor |
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for
Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them
to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to
stop unwrapping. Next week I'm moving to Mars, so if you have any boxes ... A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here'. Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture. If "con" is the opposite of "pro", what is the opposite of progress? Why is it that lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it? Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent? Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate? Do married people live longer than single people or does it just seem longer? I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. You can't have everything. Where would you put it? |